Waiting....

In case anyone was wondering, I passed my practical NREMT-I test on Friday. I only had to retest IO, since I had a minor equipment issue (unknown if it was brought about by operator error or not. I chose not to challenge it, and just retest the station). So yes, I passed. Happy day.

The day before the test I didn't have time for terror, since my laptop gave up the ghost, and I spent much of the day running around on errands, and getting a new computer. Now all I need to do is get a sled so I can move all my files from the old hard drive to the new one. It isn't a huge deal, but it would be nice to have my wedding information instead of having to redo the budget, guest list, etc all over again. I also have to finish moving my music, since iTunes was being sullen and didn't get all my music from the external hard drive, leaving me to transfer everything myself. It's good, in a way, since it will allow me to go through and erase all the duplicates and so on. I am a bit miffed about the loss of all my playlists, though.

So, at 0800 this morning, I took my NREMT-I written test. I was done in just over an hour, and took another 20-30 minutes to review all my work and the flagged questions. There are still a few I am nervous about, and I left feeling that I either knew my shit or didn't know anything at all. I should get results sometime this afternoon.

Since I had to be in the glorious County of Monkeys this morning for my test, I decided to meet my old co-workers for lunch. I've come to realize over the past year and some that getting laid off was probably the best thing that could have happened (something I voiced then, but didn't quite believe). I enjoyed working for that company, mainly due to the people there, but felt trapped. It was a vicious cycle I went through on a fairly constant basis, becoming excited about a new project and working as hard as I could on it for several weeks, only to gradually become disenchanted with it when it dragged on too long. I would slack off, get depressed, and then something would happen, or I would think of something that would take me back to that excited, busy state again. It was like I was manic depressive, but only about my job. During my low periods, I would constantly talk about leaving and going back to school to become a paramedic, just as soon as I'd paid off more bills. Well, you know how that goes...For years I never left, aside from the trip to Antarctica, and one of the main reasons I didn't go back to the Ice was because I felt it would be pushing my luck to leave again less than a year since I'd been back.

Ironically, I was laid off a month short of my year anniversary of being back from the Ice.

So today, the day I took my test and took one more step towards fulfilling my dream (I'll consider it a full step when I find out if I've passed), I am once again meeting with my co-workers, my tie to my former life. It's a strange circle I feel I've come to, honestly. I readily admit that there is a part of me that still misses working there, but I think it's more for the loss of the camaraderie and those other intangibles other than the work itself (in fact, I'm sure of it). I miss the verbal sparring, the joking, and laughter we shared. I miss being surrounded by people mostly my own age, and, truth be told, I miss being 'the kid.'

Don't get me wrong...I'm enjoying where I'm at now, and I enjoy (mostly) my classmates. But being a full generation older than everyone but my instructors (one of my instructors is a year younger than I am) is wearing. At least at my old job, while I was younger than most, I had a good appreciation of things the people older than me enjoyed. My current classmates have very little appreciation of what came before, and I find it discouraging to make jokes and have only the instructor laugh. It's depressing to have to constantly explain things to the children in my class.

All the same, I am happy where I am now.

But I'll be happier when I know I've passed my test.