It's official....

But not officially official,yet, if you know what I mean.  I have been duly informed by the National Registry of Emergency Medical Technicians that, with the passing score I earned on the computer test, provided I pass my psychomotor skills test, I will be granted the dubious honor of becoming a paramedic.  Of course, I passed the skills test on June 4th.

Two years of my life, and countless hours driving back and forth to class and clinical, and I am done.  The disco patch will soon be in the mail.  There are times when I still wonder if I went the right route.  If I should have stayed with the whole biology thing, and kept on looking for a job (usually those thoughts came when I got calls from biotech recruiters while in school).  I realized with about a week or 2 left of school that I had made the right decision.

How did I know?

I stopped biting my finger nails.

For as long as I can remember, I've been a nail biter.  Bored, stress, whatever...I bit my nails down to the quick and beyond.  Nothing I or anyone else (read: my mother) did stopped me from biting my nails.  Bribery, threats, funny tasting chemicals, tips, polish; all went by the wayside in my single-minded attempt to chew my nails down.  Usually boredom was the problem.

So imagine my surprise when, with just a few weeks left till class, and theoretically the most stressful time I could be going through (finals, graduation, NREMT tests), I realized I had no desire to bite my nails anymore.   I still am not biting my nails.  And while I am still stressed (finding a job, state protocol test, etc) I am not biting my nails still.

Who knew that getting into a field you really liked would make such an immediate difference?

Of course, after playing a bit of frisbee with some of the kids at the station today, and breaking a nail, I realized why have longer nails is not such a good idea given my activity levels.

Anyway, I am now a NREMT-P.  The card is in the mail.

May God have mercy on my souls (and the souls of my patients).

Halfway there

Graduation has occurred, though I wasn't actually there to experience the joy that comes from sitting in a hot room with 3000 of my not-so-closest friends while listening to boring speeches.  Figured I'd already been there, and done that, so I skipped.  The fact that I got back from Florida the day before, where I had approximately 4 hours of sleep over the course of 5 days, walked around the parks all day long, and battled feet covered in blisters was a large part in my decision to stay home that day.

The National Registry practical has come and gone.  I passed with one retest on an oral board.  Now I'm just waiting for them to send me my stuff so I can choose a testing site and date for the written.

So now I look for a job.  Unfortunately, there aren't a lot of departments hiring right now, thanks to the economy.  I will be putting in again for the alphabet agencies, such as FBI, DEA, ATF, and Marshals.  I'm finding in myself another case of wanderlust, the intense need to travel again; to uproot my life completely and move somewhere else.  I have that restless feeling that occurs every few years.  Working for one of the agencies would satisfy that need to travel.  But that need to travel and go places is competing with the feeling that I get from being a firefighter and EMT...that I am a member of something that is important.  That I am helping people and am part of something larger than myself.

I have a hard time explaining this to people.  The Engineer particularly has a hard time with it.  He's one of those people who has known what they were going to do since they were little, because that's what mom or dad did.  He has no desire to move around, and travel more than for a brief vacation, and even then, he doesn't have much desire to do even that.  He is not equipped to understand where I am coming from, and where my 'adventurous' streak (as he calls it) longs to take me.

So, yeah.  I'm trying to find a job now, anticipating that I'll pass the written test in a few weeks.  I'm attempting to curb my desire to uproot myself and my life (and my fiance) to get a job in a different state.  In the meantime, I'm working out, my training schedule being derailed significantly by school, illness, travel and injury.  I am running the Marine Corp 10K in October, and a sprint triathlon in September.  Not to mention a friend's wedding in September, and my own in October.

Almost there

My paramedic program has several hoops for those of us hoping and wishing to get out and get on with life.  In addition to the standard classes and finals and papers and so on, we have two comprehensive exams we have to take in order to be approved to test for national registry. One of those is a 'oral board review,' given to us by our medical director and some other person, sometimes a medical director, sometimes an experienced paramedic who is an alumni of the program.  The questions were given to us at the beginning of the semester, mainly because the way our instructors made it sound, we had to answer these questions as if we were attempted to become board certified in some specific medical field.  Questions such as 'What is the pathophysiology of cardiogenic shock?  Include in your discussion the concepts of preload, afterload, right and left sided heart failure, systolic dysfunction and diastolic dysfunction.  Also, describe the prehospital and emergency department treatments for cardiogenic shock.'

So yeah, there were 11 questions along those lines.  We had to pick two numbers out of a box and those were the questions we would do.

To say that I was stressed out may be the understatement of the year.  I cried on the way to school.  Everytime I started laughing while talking with my classmates, I would start crying.  I don't think I sat on the seat the whole time I was being questioned.  And it wasn't nearly as bad as we were told it would be.

So the next stress point for me is the skills evaluation, which is next Monday.  We use a Sim Man system, that breathes and everything.  On Tuesday, I have my last final, and then I fly to Florida.

Because when I pass paramedic school, I'm going to Disney World.

Now if I can just kick this cold/allergies that is making me feel like my head is 3 sizes too big.

So close I can taste it

Nearly there.  Three more weeks until freedom rings...and I have to find a job. 

Every thing I do at this point is a reminder that I am one step closer to that coveted and long-elusive paramedic card.  Finished my paper, done with clinicals, took the practice test, last test in this class, last homework in that class...all a reminder that God-willing, I'll finally have my disco patch.  Granted, it's worthless until I find a job, but the fact that I'll have it in my hot little hands is a good start. 

Fifteen years ago I became an EMT-B because I wanted to make sure I could handle the stress of being a doctor. While in class I thought about becoming a medic, but would not have been able to handle the combined load of medic school (plus clinicals) on top of my 18-20 credit semesters for my undergrad. And the family wasn't happy about the EMT class...you can imagine what would have happened with the idea of medic school.

But the idea stayed with me. Through college, the failure to get into medical school (primarily a paperwork snafu that went unresolved, so that my applications were essentially circular filed), the failed attempt at nursing school, and several dead-end biotech jobs.  EMS was the one thing I kept coming back to; the one thing that never bored me to tears or frustrated me until I wanted to totally quit and never come back. It was the one thing that made me "light up" as a friend said.

And on June 3rd, when I finish my practical test and am just waiting for them to send that card, I will have finally finished the journey I started all those years ago, when I was hoping just to gain a little extra knowledge before med school.

And the next person who says, "but you're so smart! You should be a doctor" will be shot.

Light!

My clinicals are officially over!  I am that much closer to finishing.  All I have to do now is finish my paper and the presentation that goes with it, pass my oral boards, 2 more tests and a final.

Hardly anything....*snort*

Sometimes you wonder...

So, my question was this:  Is this how the alarm company sent it to dispatch, or did dispatch come up with this as a summary?

Sounds

There are many sounds I hate.  I now have a new one.

The sound of a mother crying over her 18 year old child's body.

She was the one who found him unconscious, not breathing, with no pulse.

Pierced me to the heart, it did.

No parent should have to bury their child.